Gloria

t0xikinl0v3 @ 2007-03-16T10:18:00

2007-03-16T14:20:12Z

Well I have yet to see my daughter. I'm getting conflicting stories from all these courts and police stations. I'm so goddamn confused. Shit is so hectic right now. IDK why I ever gave him custody. I never would have done this to him as much as I fucking hate him.

In other news I have just recently found out that I am pregnant. 5 weeks. I am so excited. I can't wait.

t0xikinl0v3 @ 2007-03-03T03:43:00

2007-03-03T08:46:09Z

My exhusband refuses to let me see my daughter. He told me that if I want to see her I have to take him to court. Which I totally plan on doing. I just can't believe he's doing this to me. His new girlfriend is listed as a parental substitute and I just lost it. I'll be damned if anyone besides her father and I have any say as far as she goes. So needless to say I'm not just taking him to court for visitation, I'm taking custody back.

t0xikinl0v3 @ 2007-02-14T06:04:00

2007-02-14T11:12:20Z

I need to get some thoughts out so here goes. I'm so confused right now and I'm gonna try to explain this so I don't confuse you. Here's the layout of people.....Jeremy is my ex boyfriend. Dave is Jeremy's brother. Ryan is my current boyfriend and Jeremy and Dave used to consider Ryan family but no longer do. Then there's Cat who is just another friend of mine. So anyways, Jeremy and I split up because things were just getting really bad and I couldn't deal with the way he was acting. Ryan and I ended up starting to date not too long after that. Him and I don't really speak and that really bothers me. So I layed it out for him and told him if shit don't change I'm out. Dave and I are friends but today he told me that he liked me and I feel the same but he was with a friend of mine for awhile and I don't know how she would feel about me being with him. Jeremy was telling me today that he might want to work things out and shit. And then I was venting to Cat who then decided to tell me that he also had feelings for me. HELP. I don't know what to do.

t0xikinl0v3 @ 2007-02-11T09:32:00

2007-02-11T14:42:48Z

Past two days I've been drinking and drinking and drinking. It's not even like me. I hate alcohol. There's just so much on my mind right now but instead of the thoughts going away I stress them more. I just want things to be like they were before I was unhappy all the time. I need my life back the way it was before the breakdowns and blacking out all the time. I can't keep living like this.

t0xikinl0v3 @ 2007-02-07T13:55:00

2007-02-07T19:00:43Z

What a bad past couple of days. The day before last my ex fucking sliced his arm open because I wouldn't get back together with him. God, the memories of my mother just came flooding back. It was so hard to deal with but I couldn't go back. I couldn't let him guilt me into it. It was really hard to deal with. I was going to go back just to stop him from cutting himself, but then I was thinking "how could he do this to me after my mom? How could he be like this?" and I just couldn't. Then yesterday this kid Ryan that I'm talking to got arrested. But I woke up to a cute message from him saying that he had such a bad night because he didn't talk to me. It feels so good to hear all those things again but we all know my bad luck with men and Lord knows I don't want to get hurt again. I guess I'm just taking it one step at a time but I'm falling harder and harder every day.

New Start

2007-02-04T21:29:05Z

Okay everything was deleted again. I just need a place to try to get my thoughts straight and try to figure everything out. I didn't really feel like past entries were helping me do that so I'm starting over.

My new layout is fucking awesome....I love it. And I am off to bed so more later.